Slowly and Obnoxiously Creepin Up on Me

February 14th. 
A day that I can't help but cringe to when I hear the date or hear someone talk about it.
Just to give you a little image in your head as to how I feel towards the holiday, Here is a picture for you to enjoy.

 

The expression on this little boys face is usually the way I feel when I walk into a CVS and see Valentine's Day stuff plastered onto everything. 

Now, it hasn't always been that way. I suppose I enjoyed making cute little paper mailboxes in elementary school and going around giving all my classmates Tweety Bird paper Valentines with a red lollipop attached to it that had a white heart on the sucker, and when you licked it you could give yourself a heart tattoo. ya know, those days were okay. But I am pretty sure once I entered Junior High, Valentine's Day started rubbing me the wrong way. Not a fan. And every year it just slowly creeps up on me.
Here I am, with my Christmas cheer slowly coming to an end, the next thing I know, BAM! every store in the world is covered in pink and red hearts!

Several people are always telling me, especially my mom, "You're just bitter and grumpy because you don't have anyone to celebrate it with." Lies.  I am telling you all now,well at least those few who actually read my blog, that the fact that I am not in a relationship is not the reason why Valentine's Day is at the bottom of my list of favorite holidays. I can tell you now that when ever the good Lord does bring an awesome man of God into my life and the relationship continues through Valentine's Day, I will not change my opinion on the holiday. And if this guy insists on participating on the holiday, I am going to kindly suggest if we could "celebrate" the following day.

Ya know, there is more to it as to why I'm not too crazy about the day. Another big reason is that I don't like that men and women feel the need to go all out and make sure that there significant other is well aware that they are loved. ya know? So many men stress about Valentine's day. "Oh it's Valentine's Day! I HAVE to buy my girlfriend/wife 12 long-stem red roses and a box of chocolate and some type of jewelry so she knows I love/care about her." No, you don't. My thing is, If you really care about your significant other you wouldn't just dedicate one day on making it known. You would give her flowers on any random day, just because. You would tell them everyday you loved them and find time out of everyday to spend with them. Which leads me to the whole reasoning of this post.

I am going to be honest with you. Lately I have been in a little dry spell with my relationship with the Lord. But this past week has been exactly what I needed to get motivated and get my heart pumpin for the Lord again. Talking about the Holy Spirit and really trying to understand how important it is to be living your life constantly submerged with the Holy Spirit, being loved on by my brothers and sisters in Christ and by watching this short little spoken word video. Some of you might have already seen it. But for those of you who haven't, I want to share it with you because, it is what sparked me to think of a brilliant idea to bring me to not think so negative towards Valentine's Day. If you are confused in anyway, watch the video, continue reading and hopefully I'll be able to wrap my thoughts up and it will all come together. :)

Alrighty, wasn't that great?

here are three lines he said that I just love.
•"become friends first before you ever become lovers,pursue Jesus as your foundation,before you get under the covers"
•"its not the love that sustains the promise its the promise that sustains the love"
and • "His death was a proposal, He wanted you no matter the cost,while some guys propose on one knee, Jesus proposed on a Cross."

It was that last one that got me. This whole video was just a great reminder of how much Jesus loves me. And his way of showing us was dying on the cross for us. He continues to love on us and shows us daily with his mercy and grace. I started thinking about how horrible I am about taking time out of everyday to spend it with Jesus. It doesn't mean that I do not love Him, but it is not always at the forefront of my mind. And it shouldn't be that way. Here I was complaining about people who take advantage of a day dedicated to showing their loved ones how much they really do care for them. Using Valentine's Day as a day to spend the whole day with their loved ones. When, the One who deserves a whole day dedicated to Him, showing Him exactly how much He means to me, is Jesus Christ. I should be spending everyday with Him. But I don't. Just like the average person does with their significant other. So, it kinda made me understand why some people do take advantage of the one day out of the year to go all out. Now, I am not saying that I still don't feel like the little boy in the picture. Because I do. But as I said, I can understand now and It's made it a little easier for me to not be the Grinch of Valentine's Day.

I have decided to participate in Valentine's Day. But not in the typical way of celebrating it. Instead, I want to use the 14th of February as a stepping stone. A day to dedicate to Jesus. A day to have a date with Jesus, a much needed date with Jesus. To be in constant prayer, to journal, to have a conversation with Him, to listen to Him, to see His beauty, and to show Him how much I love Him. Spend the entire day with Jesus.  Here is the curve ball. I don't want this to be just something to do every year on February 14th. Because then I would be doing exactly what I don't like about Valentine's day. I want it to be a day that encourages me to start the next day, and the day after that and so on, to find time to spend with Him. Whether it is for an hour or 30 minutes. As long as I get some time in to have some good quality Jesus Time.

I hope what I am trying to say is making sense. And if it does make any sense to anyone I hope that I have in some way encouraged you, or that God has spoken to you in anyway. The point isn't to do it because we have to or we need to. It should be because we want to and we have the desire to. When we have that desire, the outcome is so amazing. It allows us to grow, to mature and be in the Holy Spirit. And that is an incredible feeling.

♥L

Feliz Cumpleaños, Abuelito ♥

Today was my Abuelitos birthday.
(for those of you who are reading and are not familiar with spanish, Abuelito= Grandpa)

I believe he would have turned 85 today. 

It has been 3 years since he has been gone.

My parents have a photo of him framed on top of this cabinet thingy my mom has in the living room.
I pass by it every day and I can't help but smile every time I see it. In this photo he is in his uniform. And if I am correct, the day this photo was taken, my dad was there and he was the one who took the photo. So, not only does it make me smile to just see Abuelito, but I can't help but picture my dad being there and envision them smiling and having a warm conversation. Then it just leads me to remember how much I miss hearing Abuelitos voice. So soft and full of love and wisdom. By then, I am just struck by a flash of memories and a specific conversation that I remember having with him.

   It was at the Upland house, and I had taken my Spanish homework to work on while my parents and I were visiting. I figured I would get more luck with proper help from Abuelito then my parents. And I was right. It is sad to say but, I don't think I ever had that long of a conversation with him in my entire life.

Abueltios first language was Spanish. And he learned English while he was here. My Abuelita only spoke spanish so most of the time Abuelito did the translating for me when I wanted to say a few things to her. Even though Abuelito spoke English, his Spanish accent was still pretty thick. I loved that about his voice. 

  Back to the conversation I had with him, I distinctly remember him asking me, "Why do you need so much help on your Spanish work?" My answer was, "Because my dad [his son] never taught me how to speak Spanish." The look on his face was priceless. along with his smile and the laughter that came from him. He helped me finish the last bit of my homework and I remember him telling my dad in Spanish that He needs to speak more Spanish to me. I remember him laughing then looking at me and saying, "a partir de ahora me voy a hablar con usted solo en español."  which meant, "from now on I'm only going to talk to you in spanish." I just remember freaking out because I was not up for that challenge. of course, he was only joking. But it made me smile. 

It is that memory that constantly replays in my head. I only wish I did speak Spanish as fluent as I should. I just might have been able to have more amazing conversations with him. Especially with my Abuelita. But that's for a whole other blog entry.

There is only one other thing about this photo that aches my heart every time I see it. My Abuelito was doing something he loved. And something that he was amazing at. I only wish I would have been alive during his glory days. My parents, aunts and uncles have bragged about how amazing he was. If he only knew how much of his love for what he did was passed down to me. For a while after his death, It was hard for me to get back to the kitchen. It was a constant reminder of him. But eventually I've realized to embrace it. And now, I can't help but to think of him while in the kitchen, doing something I love. Something that clears my mind and makes me smile. Something that brings me closer to him. I still wish he was around so we can talk about things I've made or want to make. So he can teach me all his tricks and help me better my skills.Whether I choose to make Baking my profession or just a hobby I pick up, I know my Abuelito would be proud. And just for him, I promise to try and teach my future kids how to speak Spanish. :)

¡Feliz cumpleaños, abuelito! Usted siempre estará en mi corazón. Y gracias por el amor que tengo para hornear.

♥L

2012-It's going to be great!

Happy New Year, Everyone!

Golly, It is already January 1st, 2012! Can you believe it? Time goes by so fast.
2011 was such a crazy year for me. It went by so fast!

I just finished the semester from hell. And really not looking forward to seeing what my grades are. This coming semester should be better. I will only be taking 3 classes and I refuse to let this semester be a failure.

Throughout 2011 I had crazy, unexpected, and unwanted friendship quarrels.And friendships that were mended. There were so many decisions I had to make regarding my friendships as well. Definitely something I hope to never have to go through again. But, its life. Who knows what God will have me go through.  But that is the the beauty of the Lord, having full faith in Him and not knowing where the Lord is gonna take me. I am ready for it. I've spiritually grown so much through out 2011 and it wasn't easy but it has changed me so much. I am still going through a lot of changes in life and decisions need to be made but that all takes time. In Gods time.

I just know that this year is the year that great things will happen. I mean, so many great things are already in the near future. My best friend, Amy will be graduating from College!! My little APU graduate she will be :) And my dear friend Marilyn, who is like a sister to me, is going to Australia to serve the Lord. I am so excited for her.

If you haven't guessed it yet, I am very excited for 2012. It is gonna be a great year. Really, I am so excited.  I hope,wish and pray that this new year is filled with Love, Happiness, Peace, Joy, and Jesus. Hope you all have a fantastic year. I am not saying this year will be a blissful year, I guarantee you there will be some hard times. deaths, fights, divorces, breakups, whatever it is, there will be hard times. But, it is your choice to make the best of it. Are you going to dwell in it and let it control your life? Or are you going to work through it and learn from it. Grow from it. There is always something the Lord can teach you. Live life Loving Jesus.
Happy New Year!

 

♥L