December ♥

Today is the first of December. And I am pretty stoked. November was good to me. But I'm glad its over. My Thanksgiving was pretty good. Considering I was sick, along with everyone else I knew. To all who were sick that week, I hope you are feeling a lot better now. I know I am.

Back to December. I am excited. Why? well, hopefully it will actually start to feel like Winter. Christmas music! Christmas Trees, Christmas lights, Nativity Scenes, Fireplaces, and well ya know, Christmas!!

Now, I don't want to mislead you into thinking that I absolutely love everything about this season...because I do not. And I have been thinking about it a lot lately. I mean, how can I not?

'Tis the season of feeling lonely for me. As it is for most of my fellow single ladies, I assume.

It is also the season for me to yet again, trust in my Lord that he's got everything under control. Including my love life. Which has become harder and harder to let go of and give to God as I am getting older. Not that I had much control of it before. But, realizing that my plans mean nothing. And trusting that if the Lord wants me to be single for life then I can be okay with that. If He wants me married at 30, I can also be okay with that. If he wants me to have 3 kids or no kids...I can also be okay with that. This is also waaaaay easier said than done. I mean how awesome would it be to finally be in a God loving relationship during Christmas and New Years?! It would be pretty awesome. 

As much as I would love to have that, I would also love to fall more in Love with God. And I think that is what He wants me to do right now. To fall deeper in love with Him. Because obviously I haven't learned that His love is enough for me. 

I was listening to some Christmas music (finally) on my way to a baby shower today. It was David Crowder Bands - O Holy Night. A song I have heard many, many times each Christmas season for 22 years. Except today as I was singing a-long I couldn't help but get teary eyed as I actually listened to what I was singing.

"Truly He taught us to love one another,

His law is love and his gospel is peace.

Chains he shall break, for the slave is our brother.

And in His name all oppression shall cease.

Hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,

with all our hearts we praise His holy name."

At that moment, with tears in my eyes is when I remembered why I loved Christmas. Why I loved  our God. Then singing to the rest of the album was way more awesomer. yes, I just said awesomer. 

For the month of December, as I listen to my Christmas music, feeling lonely and sad for myself because I am still single, I pray that I can be reminded of His love and that it is enough. And that I am fully capable of trusting Him with that area of my life. 

♥L

p.s- If you haven't listened to David Crowder Bands Christmas Album- Oh For Joy, I recommend that you do. I personally love it. Traditional Christmas songs with their little twist to it. Amazing.  If you don't believe me, listen to it yourself. 

"If Jesus fully emptied Himself for you, What's keeping you from emptying yourself for others?"

-Jefferson Bethke

Nailed it.

Nailed it. Minus number 11. Halloween just isn't my favorite holiday. It's too stressful for me. too much pressure. ha ha. Although I am pretty stoked about Murdock's costume. Hopefully I can pull it off. Again, there is just so much pressure. But if I actually do make this happen, he is going to be the coolest. Fingers crossed that he is feeling up to par by Halloween.

Also, lets hope that this crazy heat goes away! I mean, come on. I thought Summer left already. We had a good couple of days that were just perfect! Then Summer 2.0 comes around and ruined it. I don't know if you are aware of this Summer but, Alaska would absolutely LOVE a visit from you...Just sayin...

There is just so much to catch you guys up on. But, I am going to keep it short. I promise. Maybe I will give you an extended update later.

As always, I've been avoiding my dates with Jesus. I know, how could I? I have no idea. I am still trying to figure it out. It is all I have been thinking about! There is just this frightening feeling I get at the thought of being completely vulnerable with Him. Makes no sense, I know. Anywho, I have been justifying my not having a date with Jesus by using the good 'ol, "Well, I don't really have privacy in my home right now, there just isn't a place I can be when I breakdown" excuse. well, last week I found a great place I can go to and have quite time and maybe some dates with Jesus. I would tell you where...but um, I am going to be a little selfish with this one. ha ha. sorry.  You know what would be totally awesome?! If y'all could be praying that I can actually find the time and strength to visit this spot of mine. And be able to have some good, quality personal time with Jesus. Autumn is the perfect time of year to have nice & cozy dates with Jesus. Ya know since I wont be having any dates with a guy anytime soon. Having a date with Jesus is way more awesome then any date I would have with some random guy.

On that note,

♥L

Beyond The Sea

Hello my friends,
 

I have realized that It has been far too long since an update.
So for the few who follow my blog and are interested in what my not-so-exciting self has been up to lately here you go:

My last update was when my Grandpa passed away. Since then It has been a crazy/emotional/healthy healing process. But I can say that I was able to deal with this death a lot better than the others I have had and I am grateful for that. 

This summer has gone by way to fast for me. I start Fall semester August 20th and I am not ready to go back at all. I still haven't gone to the Zoo and I promised my cousin Janice I would take her to the Santa Monica Pier. So I need to find the time to do this, stat! 

Saturday, July 28, 2012 the Cervantes Family had a well needed Family Picnic. It was awesome. Almost all of my cousins were there and it was beautiful. This was our first big planned family picnic since both my grandparents passed away. It was kinda put on in honor of them. To see what my grandparents started and who they raised. I am so blessed to have such a big family. And to even be apart of this family and just to call it my own. I could probably say that I've always taken my big family and our weird closeness for granted. It wasn't until I was talking to my good friend Claudia about our picnic and she had mentioned to me that her family doesn't do anything like what we do. ever. And to me, I thought that was thee most bizarre thing. Coming from a huge family, both sides, it is almost a regular thing for us to have little shindigs like this. So to hear that someone doesn't do that, made me think, how lucky I am to have such a big family. A family who makes it a point to all get together, catch up, have water balloon tosses, play volleyball, potato sack races, Bingo,play Softball, eat, laugh and enjoy each others company.  I can not imagine my life without it. And I thank God for that. Being surrounded by family is amazing. Yes, they can drive us all crazy some days but in the end, family is such a precious gift God has given us. Our family picnic was such an awesome God-sighting for me. 

Speaking of God-sighting, I've gotten this term from our VBS at church. For those who do not know what VBS is, it stands for Vacation Bible School. It is a Monday-Friday night event that takes place one week during the Summer, where tons of children come to church, they are put in little groups and leaders take them station to station and do activities and learn about Gods word. I was a crew leader to four super fun/cute kids all around the age of 7. I got to learn some little kid songs with some fun hand motions that went to the theme of our VBS, which was called Sky-High. We had clouds everywhere and crew leaders and assistant crew leaders were asked to wear blue and white. We got to play games with the kids, run around the church grounds to each station and just have fun with these kids and show them God's love. It was such a blessing to me. I haven't participated in my church's VBS in years and to get back into it was hard but in the end a blessing. I loved it.

                                                                  We all wore the same shirts for the Family Picnic. That is the Cervantes Crest♥

    Right now I would like to make a shout out to my "sister", Marilyn Cooperstein!

Because it was VBS week and I knew I would be running around like a mad women trying to keep up with my kids, My flats would not suffice. Therefore, I wore my vans. Now, I haven't actually worn shoes with laces in FOREVER, because well.... I'll show you.

 <--That happens! Every time I wear shoes my laces ALWAYS untie!!! drives me nuts.
I could not help but think of my Sister Marilyn. Because of this, she started calling me Laces. I didn't like it much but now, I miss hearing her call me that. And all week she was on my mind. It only made me miss her even more and It was a blessing in disguise because I used that opportunity to pray for her while she is in Australia. Our 5 Bible Points hit home. And I would like to share them with Marilyn and anyone else for that matter who is struggling or going through hard times. Yes, it is designed for kids but it hit home.
 Our main point we wanted the kids to get was to Trust God.
      Day 1: No matter who you are, God.
      Day 2: No matter how you feel, trust God.
      Day 3: No matter what people do, trust God,
      Day 4: No matter where you are, trust God.
      And Day 5: No matter what happens, trust God

We had key Bible verses also, but I can't remember all of them, which is a shame because I know they were good. But the last one of the week is my personal favorite and It is impossible for me to forget because the verse is on my class ring. So I will share it with you for my closing encouragement. 

It is:

Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

So this was a super short summary of what has been going on with me. I will try and update on a more regular basis. Thanks for reading. :)

P.S- The title of this post has no correlation to this post. I simply used the title of the song that started playing as I finished writing :) 

♥L

Really God?

Alright, So I have realized that I have not written in an awful long time. My apologies. For those of you who follow my blog and have been reading every post. I would like to apologize to you for the future. Because I sense that this will be happening often. That is just who I am. I am a pro at procrastinating. And, I also can not write my heart away If I am just not feeling it. Okay, so lets get to business.

This has been a crazy time for me.
"Really God?" Is what I caught myself saying often.

As always, I let my fear of vulnerability to the Lord get in the way of having regular dates with Jesus. So, naturally I developed a little list of things that I wasn't too happy with. Things that were heavy on my heart. And things that I had no answers to and hoped that He did. But I never  took the time to actually go through that list with Him. And my life slowly started to become a mess. My ducks were starting to get out of line.

My grandpa, an 82 year old man who had an incredible sense of humor passed away last week. March 29th, 2012. Just a quick recap for those who don't know. My grandpa was suffering from kidney failure and he refused to do dialysis.

I tried building myself up for what was coming. I mean, I had a sense of what it was going to be like, what I had to prepare for and what I had to do in order to not make the same mistakes I did when my grandmother has passed.  As much as I tried to prepare myself I never quite got it right.  I was still not ready. Although on the outside I might have looked like I took it good. But, really I was in denial. I refused to accept the fact that my grandpa died. That I no longer had any grandparents. To seek wisdom from, to hear stories from the past and to just be in their presence.  Every morning when I woke up It felt like it was all a bad dream. As if it never happened.

The fact that my grandpa wasn't with us anymore finally hit me. The night of his viewing service it hit me hard. Seeing his casket, hearing his  sister tell us all stories of when he was a kid. Seeing her in pain, and everyone else around me. It really happened. And it wasn't until my dad spoke these very words and said, " I know in my heart that I will see Eddie again", is when I was able to have some peace in the fact that he was gone. It was a stepping stone for me to draw near to the Lord and allow him to comfort me. Allow him to pour out His love for me. And to know that It was okay for me to be upset about it. It was okay for me to cry. I kept thinking of when Jesus dealt with the death of Lazarus,  John 11:35 "Jesus wept." He was overcome with sorrow even though He knew He would rise again.

Everyone has a different grieving process. And I am still figuring out mine.  You would think I would be a  pro at it right? I never dealt with the death of my grandma, aunt, abuelito and abuelita in the present time. And I am learning now how to deal with my grandpas death in current time. It isn't easy. But the more I talk with Jesus, the easier it gets.

Word to the wise, pretending that you don't hear God whispering in your ear isn't always the best thing to do. I mentioned that I haven't been going to God with the things that are bothering me lately and how that it's only causing me to build a bigger list of beef I have with Him. And naturally, my life is becoming more and more of a mess and my ducks are no where to be found at this point.  The funny thing about God is, He knows how to get to you. In a sneaky way. Well, at least that is how it felt like for me. These past two months I have had a few opportunities to step up in my leadership role and be blessing to others. To step out of my comfort zone, and glorify God. Here is the sneaky part. God knows that I can't have beef with Him when I've made a decision to lead and bless others. So here is how I imagine it in my head.

Me: " Why does my life suck right now? "
Jesus: " Wanna talk about it? "
Me: (pretending that I didn't hear him) "School is stressing me out."
Jesus: " I am still here if you wanna talk. "
Me: (still pretending not to listen) "I do not know how to deal with all this."
Jesus: "I do. Want to get some coffee?"
Me: (doesn't respond, but deep down wants to talk)
Jesus: "Alright, I know she wants to talk...I know she's scared...how could I giver her that extra push???"
(2 days later Liz has 3 amazing opportunities given to her and she knows she cant do them alone)
Me: " 7pm, Starbucks in El Monte?"
Jesus: "I'll be there. "

Matthew 7:7 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."

Psalm 116:1-7

So this is where I am. I apologize that this post is so long. Who ever stuck it through and is still reading, If there is one thing that I can get across to you is, talk with God. I know it can be scary. But just as I remind myself this every time, He just wants to have dinner with you. I encourage you to read the story of  Zacchaeus. It could be found in Luke chapter 19. My mentor had me read it and since then, It has helped me a lot.

My grandpa Eddie and his little sister Ester at his 81st birthday.
Always in my Heart <3

P.S- And do you know what God's answer to me was?
     
                              "Yes, really."

♥L

when everything is falling apart

For those who actually follow my blog, you might have noticed that I haven't posted anything new since my Valentine's Day rant. In all honesty, let me just say things didn't work out the way I planned them.

I bailed on Jesus. I stood Him up. I cancelled our date for Valentine's Day.

For those who remember, in my last post I had mentioned that I desperately needed a Date with Jesus. So pushing back my date even further was not a good decision. The last date I had was the end of November 2011. That is a very long time. You can imagine what a hotmess I became.

I guess you can say today was my breaking point. I needed some Jesus Time. And I also would be lying if I didn't tell you that part of my choice of having Jesus Time was because my mentor made it my homework assignment. And I am meeting with her today. But, that's besides the point. I needed Jesus and I was going to have a sesh with Him and I did. And it turned out exactly how I expected it to be. But, that's what happens when you don't spend time with Jesus on a regular basis.

I have no real point to this post. Besides me telling you I finally had my date with Jesus. And I am struggling to get back into the habit of having a healthy relationship with my God. If you are one who prays, please pray for me. And if praying isn't your thing, send happy thoughts my way :)

I will leave you with this.
As my date with Jesus ended this song started playing. And let me just say, God has the most amazing timing. This was definitely  a great way to end my date. And it was exactly what I needed.

Phil Wickham

Safe

"This is the promise He made, He will be with You always,

 When everything is falling apart, You will be safe in His arms"

♥L

Slowly and Obnoxiously Creepin Up on Me

February 14th. 
A day that I can't help but cringe to when I hear the date or hear someone talk about it.
Just to give you a little image in your head as to how I feel towards the holiday, Here is a picture for you to enjoy.

 

The expression on this little boys face is usually the way I feel when I walk into a CVS and see Valentine's Day stuff plastered onto everything. 

Now, it hasn't always been that way. I suppose I enjoyed making cute little paper mailboxes in elementary school and going around giving all my classmates Tweety Bird paper Valentines with a red lollipop attached to it that had a white heart on the sucker, and when you licked it you could give yourself a heart tattoo. ya know, those days were okay. But I am pretty sure once I entered Junior High, Valentine's Day started rubbing me the wrong way. Not a fan. And every year it just slowly creeps up on me.
Here I am, with my Christmas cheer slowly coming to an end, the next thing I know, BAM! every store in the world is covered in pink and red hearts!

Several people are always telling me, especially my mom, "You're just bitter and grumpy because you don't have anyone to celebrate it with." Lies.  I am telling you all now,well at least those few who actually read my blog, that the fact that I am not in a relationship is not the reason why Valentine's Day is at the bottom of my list of favorite holidays. I can tell you now that when ever the good Lord does bring an awesome man of God into my life and the relationship continues through Valentine's Day, I will not change my opinion on the holiday. And if this guy insists on participating on the holiday, I am going to kindly suggest if we could "celebrate" the following day.

Ya know, there is more to it as to why I'm not too crazy about the day. Another big reason is that I don't like that men and women feel the need to go all out and make sure that there significant other is well aware that they are loved. ya know? So many men stress about Valentine's day. "Oh it's Valentine's Day! I HAVE to buy my girlfriend/wife 12 long-stem red roses and a box of chocolate and some type of jewelry so she knows I love/care about her." No, you don't. My thing is, If you really care about your significant other you wouldn't just dedicate one day on making it known. You would give her flowers on any random day, just because. You would tell them everyday you loved them and find time out of everyday to spend with them. Which leads me to the whole reasoning of this post.

I am going to be honest with you. Lately I have been in a little dry spell with my relationship with the Lord. But this past week has been exactly what I needed to get motivated and get my heart pumpin for the Lord again. Talking about the Holy Spirit and really trying to understand how important it is to be living your life constantly submerged with the Holy Spirit, being loved on by my brothers and sisters in Christ and by watching this short little spoken word video. Some of you might have already seen it. But for those of you who haven't, I want to share it with you because, it is what sparked me to think of a brilliant idea to bring me to not think so negative towards Valentine's Day. If you are confused in anyway, watch the video, continue reading and hopefully I'll be able to wrap my thoughts up and it will all come together. :)

Alrighty, wasn't that great?

here are three lines he said that I just love.
•"become friends first before you ever become lovers,pursue Jesus as your foundation,before you get under the covers"
•"its not the love that sustains the promise its the promise that sustains the love"
and • "His death was a proposal, He wanted you no matter the cost,while some guys propose on one knee, Jesus proposed on a Cross."

It was that last one that got me. This whole video was just a great reminder of how much Jesus loves me. And his way of showing us was dying on the cross for us. He continues to love on us and shows us daily with his mercy and grace. I started thinking about how horrible I am about taking time out of everyday to spend it with Jesus. It doesn't mean that I do not love Him, but it is not always at the forefront of my mind. And it shouldn't be that way. Here I was complaining about people who take advantage of a day dedicated to showing their loved ones how much they really do care for them. Using Valentine's Day as a day to spend the whole day with their loved ones. When, the One who deserves a whole day dedicated to Him, showing Him exactly how much He means to me, is Jesus Christ. I should be spending everyday with Him. But I don't. Just like the average person does with their significant other. So, it kinda made me understand why some people do take advantage of the one day out of the year to go all out. Now, I am not saying that I still don't feel like the little boy in the picture. Because I do. But as I said, I can understand now and It's made it a little easier for me to not be the Grinch of Valentine's Day.

I have decided to participate in Valentine's Day. But not in the typical way of celebrating it. Instead, I want to use the 14th of February as a stepping stone. A day to dedicate to Jesus. A day to have a date with Jesus, a much needed date with Jesus. To be in constant prayer, to journal, to have a conversation with Him, to listen to Him, to see His beauty, and to show Him how much I love Him. Spend the entire day with Jesus.  Here is the curve ball. I don't want this to be just something to do every year on February 14th. Because then I would be doing exactly what I don't like about Valentine's day. I want it to be a day that encourages me to start the next day, and the day after that and so on, to find time to spend with Him. Whether it is for an hour or 30 minutes. As long as I get some time in to have some good quality Jesus Time.

I hope what I am trying to say is making sense. And if it does make any sense to anyone I hope that I have in some way encouraged you, or that God has spoken to you in anyway. The point isn't to do it because we have to or we need to. It should be because we want to and we have the desire to. When we have that desire, the outcome is so amazing. It allows us to grow, to mature and be in the Holy Spirit. And that is an incredible feeling.

♥L

Feliz Cumpleaños, Abuelito ♥

Today was my Abuelitos birthday.
(for those of you who are reading and are not familiar with spanish, Abuelito= Grandpa)

I believe he would have turned 85 today. 

It has been 3 years since he has been gone.

My parents have a photo of him framed on top of this cabinet thingy my mom has in the living room.
I pass by it every day and I can't help but smile every time I see it. In this photo he is in his uniform. And if I am correct, the day this photo was taken, my dad was there and he was the one who took the photo. So, not only does it make me smile to just see Abuelito, but I can't help but picture my dad being there and envision them smiling and having a warm conversation. Then it just leads me to remember how much I miss hearing Abuelitos voice. So soft and full of love and wisdom. By then, I am just struck by a flash of memories and a specific conversation that I remember having with him.

   It was at the Upland house, and I had taken my Spanish homework to work on while my parents and I were visiting. I figured I would get more luck with proper help from Abuelito then my parents. And I was right. It is sad to say but, I don't think I ever had that long of a conversation with him in my entire life.

Abueltios first language was Spanish. And he learned English while he was here. My Abuelita only spoke spanish so most of the time Abuelito did the translating for me when I wanted to say a few things to her. Even though Abuelito spoke English, his Spanish accent was still pretty thick. I loved that about his voice. 

  Back to the conversation I had with him, I distinctly remember him asking me, "Why do you need so much help on your Spanish work?" My answer was, "Because my dad [his son] never taught me how to speak Spanish." The look on his face was priceless. along with his smile and the laughter that came from him. He helped me finish the last bit of my homework and I remember him telling my dad in Spanish that He needs to speak more Spanish to me. I remember him laughing then looking at me and saying, "a partir de ahora me voy a hablar con usted solo en español."  which meant, "from now on I'm only going to talk to you in spanish." I just remember freaking out because I was not up for that challenge. of course, he was only joking. But it made me smile. 

It is that memory that constantly replays in my head. I only wish I did speak Spanish as fluent as I should. I just might have been able to have more amazing conversations with him. Especially with my Abuelita. But that's for a whole other blog entry.

There is only one other thing about this photo that aches my heart every time I see it. My Abuelito was doing something he loved. And something that he was amazing at. I only wish I would have been alive during his glory days. My parents, aunts and uncles have bragged about how amazing he was. If he only knew how much of his love for what he did was passed down to me. For a while after his death, It was hard for me to get back to the kitchen. It was a constant reminder of him. But eventually I've realized to embrace it. And now, I can't help but to think of him while in the kitchen, doing something I love. Something that clears my mind and makes me smile. Something that brings me closer to him. I still wish he was around so we can talk about things I've made or want to make. So he can teach me all his tricks and help me better my skills.Whether I choose to make Baking my profession or just a hobby I pick up, I know my Abuelito would be proud. And just for him, I promise to try and teach my future kids how to speak Spanish. :)

¡Feliz cumpleaños, abuelito! Usted siempre estará en mi corazón. Y gracias por el amor que tengo para hornear.

♥L

2012-It's going to be great!

Happy New Year, Everyone!

Golly, It is already January 1st, 2012! Can you believe it? Time goes by so fast.
2011 was such a crazy year for me. It went by so fast!

I just finished the semester from hell. And really not looking forward to seeing what my grades are. This coming semester should be better. I will only be taking 3 classes and I refuse to let this semester be a failure.

Throughout 2011 I had crazy, unexpected, and unwanted friendship quarrels.And friendships that were mended. There were so many decisions I had to make regarding my friendships as well. Definitely something I hope to never have to go through again. But, its life. Who knows what God will have me go through.  But that is the the beauty of the Lord, having full faith in Him and not knowing where the Lord is gonna take me. I am ready for it. I've spiritually grown so much through out 2011 and it wasn't easy but it has changed me so much. I am still going through a lot of changes in life and decisions need to be made but that all takes time. In Gods time.

I just know that this year is the year that great things will happen. I mean, so many great things are already in the near future. My best friend, Amy will be graduating from College!! My little APU graduate she will be :) And my dear friend Marilyn, who is like a sister to me, is going to Australia to serve the Lord. I am so excited for her.

If you haven't guessed it yet, I am very excited for 2012. It is gonna be a great year. Really, I am so excited.  I hope,wish and pray that this new year is filled with Love, Happiness, Peace, Joy, and Jesus. Hope you all have a fantastic year. I am not saying this year will be a blissful year, I guarantee you there will be some hard times. deaths, fights, divorces, breakups, whatever it is, there will be hard times. But, it is your choice to make the best of it. Are you going to dwell in it and let it control your life? Or are you going to work through it and learn from it. Grow from it. There is always something the Lord can teach you. Live life Loving Jesus.
Happy New Year!

 

♥L